[ilingku:016]
[ver:v1.0]
[ar:]
[ti:]
[by:]
[00:03.790]If you have obsessive compulsive disorder
[00:11.690]Press 1 repeatedly
[00:17.480]If you are co dependent
[00:19.720]Please ask someone to press 2 for you
[00:32.479]If you have multiple personality syndrome
[00:40.560]Press 3
[00:46.300]4
[00:59.150]5
[01:08.930]And 6
[01:15.930]If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia
[01:26.060]We know who you are and what you want
[01:56.230]Stay on the line so we can trace your call
[02:18.060]If you are delusional
[02:32.980]Press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership
[02:42.530]If you are hearing voices
[03:02.720]Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press
[03:48.210]If you are manic depressive
[03:58.900]It doesn't matter which button you press
[04:13.970]No one will answer anyway
[04:18.180]If you are dyslexic
[04:52.630]Press 96969696969696
[04:58.090]If you have a nervous disorder
[05:11.680]Please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line
[05:21.560]If you have amnesia
[05:26.950]Press 8 and state your name
[05:33.790]Address
[05:40.130]Phone number
[05:46.870]Date of birth
[05:53.440]Social security number
[06:01.050]And your mother's and grandmother's maiden names
[06:04.860]If you have post traumatic stress disorder
[06:34.960]Slowly and carefully press 911
[06:39.160]If you have bi polar disorder
[06:41.330]Please leave a message after the beep
[06:43.790]Or before the beep
[06:44.590]Or after the beep
[06:45.360]Please wait for the beep
[06:46.750]If you have short term memory loss
[06:49.560]Please try you call again in a few minutes
[06:54.210]If you have low self esteem
[06:57.120]Please hang up
[06:58.320]All our representatives are busy