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[00:06.060]Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired
[00:09.300]Temporarily lazy and permanently tired
[00:12.540]A leg at every corner balancing his head
[00:15.420]And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed
[00:18.930]Riley slyly said we've underrated it
[00:22.230]Why not train it then they took a rag
[00:25.440]They rubbed it scrubbed it they oiled and embrocated it
[00:28.620]Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag
[00:31.530]There was Riley pushing' it shoving' it shushing' it
[00:35.280]Hogan Logan and everyone in town
[00:38.490]Lined up attacking' it and shoving' it and smacking' it
[00:41.580]They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down
[00:44.910]The donkey was eyeing' them openly defying' them
[00:48.690]Winking' blinking' and twisting' out of place
[00:51.510]Riley reversing' it everybody cursing' it
[00:54.630]The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race
[01:04.260]The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch
[01:07.650]They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch
[01:10.740]Delaney lay exhausted hanging' round his throat
[01:13.650]With a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note
[01:17.190]Starter Carter he lined up with the rest of them
[01:20.550]When it saw them it was willing' then
[01:23.790]It raced up braced up ready for the best of them
[01:26.910]They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again
[01:30.120]And there was Riley pushing' it shoving' it shushing' it
[01:33.720]Hogan Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw
[01:36.810]She started poking' it an' grabbing' it an' choking' it
[01:40.050]It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed heehah
[01:43.320]The whigs and conservatives the radical superlatives
[01:46.740]Liberals and tories they hurried to the place
[01:49.830]Stood there in unity helping' the community
[01:53.490]The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race
[02:02.760]The crowd began to cheer it then Rafferty the judge
[02:05.640]He came up to assist them but still it wouldn't budge
[02:08.910]And the jockey who was riding' it little John McGee
[02:12.240]Was so thoroughly disgusted that he went and had his tea
[02:15.840]Hagan Fagan were students of psychology
[02:18.960]Swore they'd shift him with some dynamite
[02:22.440]They bought it brought it and without apology
[02:25.440]The donkey gave a sneeze and blew the whole lot out of sight
[02:28.650]There was Riley pushing' it shoving' it shushing' it
[02:32.490]Hogan Logan and all the bally crew
[02:35.460]Police and auxiliary the Garrison Artillery
[02:38.640]The Second Enniskillen's and the Life Guards too
[02:42.000]They seized it and harried it they picked it up and carried it
[02:45.300]Cheered it steered it to the winning' place
[02:49.290]Then the bookmakers drew aside and they all committed suicide
[02:53.910]The day Delaney's donkey won the half mile race