[ilingku:040]
[00:00.00]本字幕由TME AI技术生成
[00:00.06]琴日讲到个瘦姑
[00:03.74]听讲无名氏话识少少武功
[00:05.92]就话你如果会武功咧
[00:10.02]我每次令你耳仔
[00:11.70]你点解仲鬼杀咁嘈叫痛啊
[00:13.58]咁无名氏听到好笑
[00:16.40]讲嚟讲去仲系将我当成你老公
[00:19.78]仲要话平时成日令你老公嘅耳仔
[00:22.83]无怪得你老公而家离家出走唔翻嚟啦
[00:26.83]你这人姓肖姑就讲啦
[00:28.63]系啦
[00:29.63]你正话讲你系咩人啊
[00:31.87]你都未讲明我听你系咩人啊
[00:34.19]那我姓武
[00:36.51]叫明志
[00:37.95]人家叫我九幽小怪嘅
[00:39.77]哎呀
[00:41.17]你叫九幽小怪
[00:43.45]仲叫做武明志
[00:45.65]你氹故仔
[00:46.75]装入灵啊哈
[00:48.24]你讲故仔啊
[00:50.10]武明志好正经啊讲
[00:51.84]喂我讲嘅系真嘅哦
[00:54.79]一啲都唔系讲古仔啊
[00:56.98]又喺江湖上
[00:58.32]人人都想捉我杀我噶
[01:00.52]吓
[01:01.56]点解个个都要捉你杀你啊
[01:03.76]系咯
[01:04.58]讲出嚟一笔铺咁长啦
[01:07.06]所以我而家留喺你屋企咧
[01:08.76]会害到你一家人噶
[01:10.68]好啦好啦收声啊
[01:12.52]你嘅故仔讲完未啊
[01:14.63]你信我啊
[01:16.07]算啦
[01:16.59]算啦
[01:17.01]你算啦
[01:18.29]讲呢句说话的人系傻嘅
[01:20.57]听信呢句说话的人啊
[01:22.29]仲傻啊
[01:23.39]我先唔做傻人啊
[01:25.45]咁你到底要点信我先啊
[01:26.75]箇姑娘
[01:28.14]你以为你咁讲就吓得到我啊
[01:30.78]呃呃到我啊
[01:31.82]吓
[01:32.58]咩人要逐你杀你啊
[01:34.14]你有宝啊
[01:35.38]佢地要逐你杀你啊
[01:37.34]除咗我逐你之外
[01:39.12]边个都唔会好啱你嘅啦
[01:41.36]你唔好唔记得啊
[01:42.78]你当初不过外乡来嘅光棍佬咋
[01:45.60]我若果唔系睇见你嘅人咧
[01:47.62]忠厚老实得几顺眼
[01:49.90]我话先你唔会嫁得起你啊
[01:57.38]哦
[01:57.66]原来你而家吹起大炮来都咁好听嘅
[02:13.50]可惜啊
[02:14.43]破绽
[02:17.73]唉
[02:18.01]冇名氏必个咁样讲啊
[02:20.03]搞到真系唔知点解释啦
[02:22.77]他感到呢个咁泼辣嘅小姐点都同他讲唔清
[02:26.81]想一走了之啦
[02:29.08]但又惊他掉颈
[02:31.34]无端端害死咗他
[02:33.38]又于心不忍啦
[02:35.59]他整个进退维谷
[02:36.81]嗰阵哦
[02:38.57]金员外两夫妇黑牛黑面又私入来啦
[02:42.76]个瘦姑一见到就好似好委屈来讲
[02:45.30]阿爹
[02:46.24]阿妈
[02:47.18]你嘅死人负心郎啊
[02:48.94]他仲话唔系我嘅
[02:51.09]个金夫人嚟讲啦
[02:52.77]乖女
[02:54.13]你先唔好坐住啦
[02:56.31]听你阿爹讲话啦
[02:59.45]你就金员海就望咗武明遮一眼
[03:01.63]问
[03:03.03]你真系咪个马明
[03:06.16]武明哲一听以为有希望
[03:08.66]马上讲
[03:09.80]金员外
[03:10.76]我姓武
[03:12.14]文武的武啊
[03:13.64]你不用解释
[03:15.82]你讲的话我喺外边都听清楚
[03:19.45]你叫做九幽小怪系嘛
[03:22.09]系啊
[03:24.71]我虽然好少出去行
[03:27.55]但我听人讲过有个九幽小怪
[03:30.93]武功好高
[03:32.33]神秘莫测
[03:34.38]系好得人惊嘅小怪物
[03:37.52]冇名字啊问你
[03:40.18]你都系武林中人
[03:43.37]我连一滴拳脚功夫都唔会
[03:46.23]点会系武林中人之得嘅
[03:49.02]咁你点知道九幽小怪嘅事啊
[03:51.72]九幽小怪而家声震江湖
[03:55.26]几乎所有人都知
[03:57.47]内江城里街头巷尾
[04:00.53]酒楼茶馆
[04:02.15]系人都议论啦
[04:04.02]我前个两日先入过省一次
[04:07.24]又点会听不到先得嘅
[04:10.40]武明志吓咗一跳
[04:12.76]谂唔到白龙会喺重庆今次一搞
[04:15.91]不止武林
[04:18.51]就连眼前这个一般人都知道了自己的名
[04:22.68]看样子我都冇可能再虚与实相扑头了
[04:26.64]金员外讲
[04:28.57]不过我睇你嘅样就唔似人家所讲嘅九霄小怪
[04:34.43]你系咪冒充
[04:36.42]我点会冒充啊
[04:37.96]武林中人个个都追杀小怪
[04:40.66]我冒充他
[04:41.86]要命长啊
[04:43.29]原始音频内容
[04:44.01]小姑讲
[04:44.97]你系想吓我地咋嘛
[04:46.59]等我地相信你
[04:47.93]唔系我个老公
[04:49.17]而系九霄小怪
[04:50.25]系咪啊
[04:51.53]小姐
[04:52.55]你叫我点讲你先信啊
[04:54.79]金员外讲
[04:56.53]听讲小怪嘅性情就唔同一般人
[04:59.89]好凶狠手辣
[05:01.73]出没无常
[05:03.61]但系你嘅性格咁敦厚
[05:06.27]心地又咁善良
[05:07.81]点会系小怪呢
[05:10.80]嗯
[05:11.30]你想我信呢
[05:13.48]除非你耍两下功夫
[05:15.14]我看看
[05:16.53]咁我就信啦
[05:18.07]因为我个女婿马明呢
[05:20.27]他就唔识武功哦
[05:23.70]你地唔系话你地唔懂武功咩
[05:26.10]就算我使出嚟
[05:27.36]你识睇嘅啦
[05:28.68]冇错
[05:30.26]我系唔会武功
[05:32.48]但前个两年呢条村一带就唔多平静
[05:36.93]我曾经啊
[05:37.79]请过两个教头来个村咧
[05:40.09]就到会元武师
[05:42.33]平日都见到他地点样展示手脚
[05:45.51]又听佢地讲过少少武功嘅
[05:48.79]所以多少都睇得出知道咩嘢
[05:51.81]譬如叫做白蛇出动啊
[05:54.83]黑虎偷心啊
[05:57.01]仲有个仲有个咩话老婆啊
[05:59.87]二郎担山咧哦系啦
[06:04.34]咁啊
[06:04.56]本来呢啲武功招式名称呢
[06:07.36]冇名字旧底就唔懂啦
[06:09.97]由于大半年在江湖走动
[06:12.45]又同人家交过手
[06:14.51]更由于同玉罗刹相处过几个月
[06:17.85]听他讲过武林中各种门派同埋武功
[06:21.78]所以都知道咗几种武功的招式同埋名称
[06:26.62]咳
[06:26.78]但系金员外所讲呢啲名称就系一段好普通嘅武功招式
[06:32.87]咳
[06:33.01]就算盘家班嘅人啦都会耍两道啦
[06:36.84]你冇一招都称得上系上乘嘅武功嘅
[06:40.32]但系你到金员凯所请嗰两个教头呢
[06:43.91]都可能都江湖上的卖艺人士
[06:46.59]绝对唔系咩高手
[06:49.47]穆明志嘅心谂
[06:51.64]我使咩武功比他好咧
[06:55.14]不如咁啦
[06:56.52]我使分花拂柳掌啦
[06:59.42]就算佢地当中有人偷咗去都唔会伤人啦
[07:04.05]至于六合掌法
[07:05.29]唉
[07:05.81]个个万万不可展示
[07:08.47]好
[07:09.05]一月今晚无名氏到呢度问啦
[07:12.92]我就喺呢间房度洗出来比你地睇呀
[07:16.30]乜
[07:16.42]呢间房好细咩
[07:19.03]梗系细咯
[07:20.33]我怕因我一不小心打烂你啲家私就唔系几好啦
[07:25.29]好
[07:26.43]咁我地去后花园啦
[07:28.45]个度清静又冇人见到
[07:31.47]个瘦姑就讲
[07:32.91]我都去
[07:34.05]我先至唔相信啊
[07:35.29]你个死鬼冤家识武功嘅
[07:37.47]如果唔系
[07:38.21]我你嘅耳朵点解他会还手啊
[07:40.86]武明哲听后苦笑一下
[07:43.22]但佢唔想同他多讲
[07:45.10]跟住金员外夫妇受雇在两个妹丁来到后花园
[07:51.02]今日金员外夫妇喺一间小艇里边就坐咗落嚟
[07:55.82]对武明志讲呢个地方够大啦
[07:59.87]以前嗰两位教头都经常喺度练武嘅
[08:04.66]冇名气就不出声
[08:06.76]侧起个耳仔听下四周嘅动静
[08:10.84]只眼就扫咗四围一眼
[08:13.58]知道你个后花园除咗金家三父女
[08:16.58]就有妹叮之外的确就冇其他外人
[08:20.17]于是他喺小艇旁边嘅草地度
[08:23.05]将分花拂柳个八套掌法一套一套使出嚟
[08:28.77]当然啦
[08:29.89]他使出掌法嗰阵咧
[08:31.83]佢嘅功力就唔到一成
[08:34.46]虽然不到一成功力
[08:36.72]但那股子掌势拍出来就带着阵阵轻风
[08:41.08]呼呼声刮到地上的落叶啊
[08:44.14]系咁飞起
[08:47.13]今日睇紧嘢
[08:47.97]个金员我两公婆个面上就木无表情嘅
[08:51.99]似乎对住呢套掌法毫无兴趣
[08:55.88]咁啊
[08:56.14]瘦姑同两个妹仔企喺旁边
[08:59.10]个两个妹仔就好好奇咁望住啦
[09:02.25]但系瘦姑呢
[09:03.65]周不是描下个嘴
[09:05.99]一丝丝咁嘅冷笑
[09:08.62]他大概认为无名氏喺度玩自己
[09:12.77]武明志将分花拂柳掌法六十四招使完啦
[09:17.07]收完掌就问你地相信我话
[09:21.28]金员外就冇出声
[09:23.26]个瘦姑讲啦
[09:24.80]我相信你什么玩意儿冤家
[09:27.67]该段音频的原始内容是
[09:28.79]我会武功啊
[09:29.29]嘛
[09:29.33]不系你个老公马明啊
[09:31.49]你咁就叫武功啊
[09:33.69]咁仲谓武功啊
[09:35.21]切
[09:36.03]算咩武功啊
[09:37.58]你果对手拍上拍落
[09:39.78]拍左拍右
[09:40.94]拍前拍后
[09:42.52]乌蝇都拍唔到一只啊
[09:44.30]咁嘅武功
[09:45.30]三岁细蚊仔都会啦
[09:47.95]过两个妹仔一听
[09:48.91]痴痴痴咁就笑啦
[09:51.56]个冇名字的皮相好哇
[09:54.69]他不发声讲
[09:56.45]呢个真系武功来噶
[09:58.17]会拍伤人嘅
[09:59.82]鬼先至信你咁讲啊
[10:02.28]吓
[10:03.30]你唔信好啦
[10:05.59]武明志呢
[10:06.39]稍微加大咗少少劲力
[10:08.79]对住远处一棵树啪的一声拍过去
[10:12.08]个棵树仔咧就有碗口咁粗嘅
[10:14.40]砰地一声断咗咯
[10:16.69]原始音频内容
[10:17.71]受孤寡疾苦
[10:18.51]讲
[10:18.63]喂
[10:19.25]喂
[10:19.33]你想吓我啊
[10:20.37]打烂我这棵树了
[10:22.59]噹年我一咒阿弥陀佛
[10:24.84]受女
[10:26.08]莫乱来啦
[10:27.54]看
[10:27.76]离他真系会武功啊
[10:30.93]冇名之啊
[10:31.59]放心啊讲
[10:32.99]那
[10:33.89]咁你就可以比我走咯
[10:34.89]啩
[10:35.77]被你走
[10:37.03]你就想啦
[10:38.31]我唔系你老公
[10:40.09]点解总唔比我早走啊
[10:42.34]你个狠心嘅冤家
[10:44.88]话唔定你以前嫁比我之前
[10:46.84]你就会武功
[10:47.52]你呃住我咋嘛
[10:48.74]而家专登又又讲自己系咩小怪来呃我
[10:52.81]你要点讲先至信啊姐姐
[10:55.53]除非你同我揾到我老公马明啦
[10:57.67]咁你就走得啦
[10:59.70]你揾到他
[11:00.88]或者我揾到他
[11:01.96]你先让我走啊
[11:03.16]梗系啦
[11:04.04]如果唔系啊
[11:05.30]我点都唔信你
[11:06.96]你唔系我个狠心嘅冤家噶啦
[11:08.92]死冤家
[11:09.68]死冤家
[11:11.02]喂
[11:11.16]喂
[11:11.30]喂
[11:12.26]咁如果一年揾不到
[11:13.96]我就喺度住一年啦
[11:15.52]咁好咯
[11:16.48]你又住喺度
[11:17.70]好对你唔住啊
[11:18.64]吓
[11:19.02]好难为你啊
[11:20.00]有得食
[11:20.46]有得着
[11:21.38]仲有人服侍你
[11:23.18]如果你唔系真嘅咧
[11:32.30]使乜惊喺度住一年啊
[11:38.70]姐姐都话唔得咯
[11:43.05]个瘦姑仲想嘈
[11:44.99]个金员外讲
[11:46.73]后生哥
[11:48.13]你过嚟
[11:49.21]我有啲嘢问你
[11:51.33]员外
[11:52.27]你有咩问我
[11:53.71]我的确唔系你地所揾嘅人
[11:56.72]嗯
[11:57.64]我都信
[12:00.16]你的确生得太似我女婿
[12:03.32]无怪得受女呢
[12:04.88]打死都唔信
[12:06.78]那咁样啦
[12:08.10]我知道你唔系
[12:09.97]但系你依家仲系比心机喺我屋企住落
[12:13.65]我就尽快揾到个衰鬼人
[12:16.43]等我揾到马明
[12:17.97]你再走点啊
[12:20.04]员外
[12:20.88]我真系有时赶去成都噶
[12:23.06]再讲
[12:24.28]我喺你屋企住落
[12:25.86]万一被武林中人知道
[12:27.92]佢地大批涌嚟害咗你一家咖
[12:32.09]嗯
[12:32.79]你讲你系九幽小怪
[12:35.45]我实在不信啊你
[12:37.97]咁你要点先信啊
[12:39.73]唔等要等佢地成班涌到嚟或者你揾到马明咁先至信啊
[12:45.10]讲你个为人
[12:46.74]你点都唔似人家所讲嘅小怪
[12:50.74]我听讲呢个小怪个内功就好高
[12:54.20]练嘅过程系同一般人不同嘅
[12:57.75]呐
[12:58.63]你如果能够将你练内功的办法讲出嚟
[13:03.59]再显示下你好深个内功
[13:07.19]我地即刻就替你扯
[13:09.72]哦
[13:10.78]你懂内功的吗
[13:12.40]我当然不懂什么内功啦
[13:15.16]咁我讲出嚟
[13:16.47]你又点知佢系唔系啊
[13:18.57]又点知佢同人家唔同啊
[13:21.31]嗯
[13:22.78]旧底我请过两个教头呢
[13:25.38]佢地有一本练内功的书留咗落嚟
[13:28.72]有图有字嘅
[13:30.85]他们希望我能够练
[13:33.43]嗯
[13:33.55]但我是比较心情去练什么内功啊
[13:36.61]那不如这样吧
[13:38.12]而家我炒过本书出嚟比你睇下
[13:41.20]你能够讲出同佢地练嘅方法有咩嘢唔同
[13:44.42]咁我就相信同时咧
[13:48.25]我又叫我个乖女死一条心比你扯啦
[13:52.60]莫名其妙的
[13:53.52]急于要走啊
[13:54.96]抹到行噶啦
[13:55.80]咁我唯有讲好啊
[13:58.46]咁拎出嚟给我睇下啊
[14:00.30]好
[14:01.82]不如咁咯
[14:02.78]你跟我一起去书房睇咯
[14:05.87]武明正跟住呢个金员外到书房
[14:10.06]金员外果然喺个书架度就翻咗一本练功嘅书出嚟
[14:15.25]里边系有图有字
[14:17.83]武明者一睇就知道
[14:19.69]呢个只系一般学武人所练嘅内功
[14:22.60]同自己啲人差远啦
[14:24.94]咁啊唯有讲
[14:26.40]呢个同我练嘅唔同嘅哦
[14:29.02]咁有咩唔同啊
[14:31.01]他无名氏上一下就讲出自己练内功的办法
[14:35.53]忽然间他又想到
[14:38.31]我这样讲
[14:38.99]莫不是将阿刘爷爷那个参天六合神功都讲埋出嚟
[14:44.68]亦即是话
[14:46.22]我会将阿公教我练气嘅办法啦讲埋出嚟啊
[14:49.99]尽管呢个金员海唔懂
[14:52.97]但我唔讲得嘅
[14:54.21]呢听野
[14:56.44]金员外见到孟明哲突然间不声不响
[14:58.90]问啦
[14:59.64]点啊
[15:00.80]你好攰啊
[15:02.58]系嘅
[15:04.21]你一嚟我屋企
[15:05.69]就撞到我个女又话上吊
[15:07.47]又话要死
[15:09.15]搞到我都唔得闲好好招呼你
[15:12.11]连茶水都未饮过一滴啊你
[15:15.05]不如咁啦
[15:16.60]而家都唔系好早嘅咯
[15:19.58]你就喺个书房里休息一下
[15:22.22]食过晚饭再瞓一晚
[15:25.59]养足精神听日再讲啊点啊
[15:29.78]穆明只感到今日撞到的事太过离奇
[15:33.68]而家的确系需要静静哋咁谂下先得
[15:37.77]咁啊唯有我讲好啦
[15:40.27]都麻烦员外了
[15:41.23]不用客气
[15:43.58]如果你真系唔系马明呢
[15:45.66]就我地唔啱
[15:47.14]我地麻烦你啦
[15:49.69]讲完
[15:50.09]他就行出去
[15:51.37]就吩呐啲家人捧点茶水啊
[15:53.69]入嚟书房
[15:55.81]咁啊
[15:55.95]武明志一单独一个人留喺书房里边啦
[16:00.09]武明志咧就饮咗两杯茶
[16:02.83]透咗一下
[16:04.88]啊
[16:04.96]死得去嘅瘦姑又撞落你嘞
[16:07.64]武明志一指
[16:08.64]讲
[16:09.60]喂
[16:09.84]你
[16:10.50]你
[16:10.84]你又嚟做咩啊
[16:12.28]哎呀
[16:13.42]呢间书房系我阿爹噶噃
[16:15.14]我唔离得啊
[16:17.09]哦冇我随便问下啫你唔好又嬲啊吓我点解不嬲啊你屈到而家死都唔认我啊我明对呢个咁泼辣嘅人真系冇办法啦
[16:29.30]唉
[16:29.66]天底下边有咁痴情嘅人先得噶
[16:32.62]佢老公又系嘅
[16:34.28]咁忍心走得出嚟
[16:36.53]如果我日后见到马明啊
[16:38.37]我真系去劝下他先得噶
[16:40.82]但系佢而家讲小姐
[16:43.42]我的确唔系你老公马明啊
[16:45.64]我唔理啊
[16:46.78]只要一日马明出现
[16:48.92]我就一日将你当成我老公
[16:51.78]唉
[16:52.34]咁好啦好啦
[16:53.68]你咪即管当咯
[16:55.15]唉呀
[16:56.55]喂
[16:57.39]咁好客气啊
[16:58.65]我问你
[16:59.57]你今晚同唔同我瞓啊
[17:01.30]吓
[17:02.08]我我点同你瞓啊
[17:04.83]嚟啦老公
[17:06.53]我都知道你今晚你不肯同我同床嘅咯
[17:10.09]我知道我以前对你唔住
[17:12.31]我日后一定好好对你嘅啦
[17:14.53]做翻个好温顺嘅老婆好冇啊
[17:17.79]哦哦
[17:17.97]喂小姐
[17:18.87]你千祈毋好乱来啊
[17:20.31]咩喳
[17:21.37]仲系小姐小姐咁叫
[17:23.41]我做你老婆都乱来嘅咩
[17:29.97]不想啊你
[17:31.03]嗯
[17:31.75]咪系
[17:32.27]我咪咁嘅意思
[17:37.15]我即系话你唔好对我太过温顺啦
[17:51.29]我唔系你老公啊嘛
[17:57.13]你正话先讲嘅
[18:04.62]好啦
[18:06.48]如果我老公有你咁好就好咯
[18:09.30]我就唔会成日拎住耳仔嘅啦
[18:11.60]抵得个死啊
[18:13.08]系咁啦
[18:14.00]你自己有福都唔识享
[18:15.82]你自己瞓喺度啦
[18:18.45]那个女人讲完就走咗嘞
[18:21.03]今日呢一晚冇乜气啊自己一个人喺个书房度
[18:25.14]他谂住听日应该点样离开呢度咧
[18:28.64]而家四周静悄悄
[18:31.23]喺忽然间
[18:34.37]他听到金家父女在内院里边轻轻讲话的声音
[18:40.07]初时他仲系唔系好留意
[18:42.74]但后来听真咗
[18:44.48]哗大吃一惊
[18:47.92]佢讲咩呢
[18:50.13]呢阵甘员我喺出边就问啦
[18:52.47]受累
[18:53.87]佢嘅掌法
[18:55.48]你记住几多啊
[18:57.02]阿爹
[18:57.78]我先记住三套咋
[18:59.58]以后嗰啲都记唔清啦
[19:01.44]他打得好快啊
[19:03.44]受了
[19:04.72]你知唔知他呢套掌法系边一门派嘅武功啊
[19:09.61]我唔知啊
[19:11.15]好似当今武林都冇咁奥妙嘅方法嘅
[19:15.41]嗯
[19:16.33]他何止奥妙啊
[19:18.17]仲可以化解一等上乘高手嘅掌法
[19:20.75]他系太岳门嘅分花拂柳掌啊
[19:24.75]当年你外公为偷太岳门嘅武功啊
[19:28.49]条命都冇埋啊
[19:30.72]啊
[19:31.60]太郁闷啦
[19:32.46]他不是喺武林中消失啦咩
[19:35.86]为父都觉得奇怪
[19:38.19]那个衰仔点解会太乙门的武功呢
[19:42.23]太乙门的武功以阴柔为主
[19:46.05]喺武林中就独树一帜
[19:48.73]系武学中嘅奇珍异宝啊
[19:51.67]当年
[19:52.80]他越门的武功
[19:54.76]在武林中就掀起一场血腥的残杀
[19:58.35]都唔知有几多人呢
[20:00.09]为他就冇咗命仔啦
[20:02.44]谂唔到竟然被你个衰仔偷咗去
[20:05.60]唔怪得断魂波到几大门派嘅掌门都系佢对手啦
[20:11.01]受女
[20:12.33]你而家偷学咗他呢套掌法
[20:14.75]足可以傲视武林啦