[01:40.00]Kung Fu International - John Cooper Clarke
[01:40.00]
[01:40.00]Outside the take-away, Saturday night
[01:40.00]A bald adolescent, asks me out for a fight
[01:40.00]He was no bigger than a two-penny fart
[01:40.00]He was a deft exponent of the martial art
[01:40.00]He gave me three warnings:
[01:40.00]Trod on me toes, stuck his fingers in my eyes
[01:40.00]And kicked me in the nose
[01:40.00]A rabbit punch made me eyes explode
[01:40.00]My head went dead, I fell in the road
[01:40.00]I pleaded for mercy
[01:40.00]I wriggled on the ground
[01:40.00]He kicked me in the balls
[01:40.00]And said something profound
[01:40.00]Gave my face the millimetre tread
[01:40.00]Stole me chop suey and left me for dead
[01:40.00]Through rivers of blood and splintered bones
[01:40.00]I crawled half a mile to the public telephone
[01:40.00]Pulled the corpse out the call box, held back the bile
[01:40.00]And with a broken index finger, I proceeded to dial
[01:40.00]I couldn't get an ambulance
[01:40.00]The phone was screwed
[01:40.00]The receiver fell in half
[01:40.00]It had been kung fu'd
[01:40.00]A black belt karate cop opened up the door
[01:40.00]Demanding information about the stiff on the floor
[01:40.00]He looked like an extra from Yang Shang Po
[01:40.00]He said"What's all this then
[01:40.00]Ah so, ah so, ah so."
[01:40.00]He wore a bamboo mask
[01:40.00]He was gen'ned on zen
[01:40.00]He finished his devotions and he beat me up again
[01:40.00]Thanks to that embryonic Bruce Lee
[01:40.00]I'm a shadow of the person that I used to be
[01:40.00]I can't go back to Salford
[01:40.00]The cops have got me marked
[01:40.00]Enter the Dragon
[01:40.00]Exit Johnny Clarke