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[ilingku:042]
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[ti:Your Horoscope For Today]
[ar:"Weird Al" Yankovic]
[al:Running With Scissors]
[by:]
[offset:0]
[00:00.000]Your Horoscope For Today - Weird Al Yankovic
[00:12.056]以下歌词翻译由文曲大模型提供
[00:12.056]AQUARIUS
[00:12.705]水瓶座
[00:12.705]There's travel in your future when your tongue
[00:15.055]当你的舌头黏在飞驰巴士后窗时
[00:15.055]Freezes to the back of a speeding bus
[00:17.655]预示你将踏上奇妙旅程
[00:17.655]Fill that void in your pathetic life
[00:20.125]用每天十七小时打地鼠游戏
[00:20.125]By playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day
[00:22.685]填补你可悲人生的空虚
[00:22.685]PISCES
[00:23.255]双鱼座
[00:23.255]Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos
[00:25.635]切记远离携带埃博拉病毒的
[00:25.635]With the Ebola virus
[00:27.614]处女座和狮子座人士
[00:27.614]You are the true Lord of the Dance
[00:30.724]你才是真正的舞林至尊
[00:30.724]No matter what those idiots at work say
[00:32.654]别管那些职场蠢货怎么议论
[00:32.654]ARIES
[00:33.264]白羊座
[00:33.264]The look on your face will be priceless
[00:35.104]当你发现结肠里卡着十八斤西瓜时
[00:35.104]When you find that forty-pound watermelon in your colon
[00:38.683]那表情绝对精彩绝伦
[00:38.683]Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf
[00:41.202]快和白化病侏儒交换牙刷
[00:41.202]Then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
[00:42.862]再给梅姨种颗草莓印
[00:42.862]TAURUS
[00:43.231]金牛座
[00:43.231]You will never find true happiness
[00:45.670]你永远找不到真正的幸福
[00:45.670]What you gonna do cry about it
[00:48.209]你能怎么办 哭鼻子吗
[00:48.209]The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up
[00:51.038]星星预言明天你会醒来
[00:51.038]Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep
[00:53.837]做一堆事情然后继续睡觉
[00:53.837]That's your horoscope for today
[00:55.277]这就是你今天的星座运势
[00:55.277]That's your horoscope for today
[00:57.087]这就是你今天的星座运势
[00:57.087]Yay yay yay yay yay
[00:59.067]
[00:59.067]That's your horoscope for today
[01:04.327]这就是你今天的星座运势
[01:04.327]That's your horoscope for today
[01:05.947]这就是你今天的星座运势
[01:05.947]That's your horoscope for today
[01:07.297]这就是你今天的星座运势
[01:07.297]Yay yay yay yay yay
[01:09.147]
[01:09.147]That's your horoscope for today
[01:13.886]这就是你今天的星座运势
[01:13.886]GEMINI
[01:14.486]双子座
[01:14.486]Your birthday party will be ruined once again
[01:17.226]你的生日派对将再次被搞砸
[01:17.226]By your explosive flatulence
[01:19.316]因为你那惊天动地的屁
[01:19.316]Your love life will run into trouble
[01:21.155]你的爱情生活将陷入麻烦
[01:21.155]When your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest
[01:24.133]当未婚妻用标枪刺穿你的胸膛
[01:24.133]CANCER
[01:24.443]巨蟹座
[01:24.443]The position of Jupiter says that you should spend
[01:27.052]木星方位显示你该整周
[01:27.052]The rest of the week face down in the mud
[01:30.012]面朝下埋在泥浆里
[01:30.012]Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose
[01:32.891]考驾照时千万要忍住
[01:32.891]While taking your driver's test
[01:34.490]别把胶带卷塞进鼻孔
[01:34.490]LEO
[01:34.769]狮子座
[01:34.769]Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt
[01:37.348]现在可不是复印你屁股的好时机
[01:37.348]And staple it to your boss's face oh no
[01:40.028]还别把它钉在老板脸上 哦不
[01:40.028]Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding
[01:41.997]吃下一桶金枪鱼味布丁
[01:41.997]Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik
[01:45.006]再用一加仑草莓快克冲下肚
[01:45.006]VIRGO
[01:45.466]处女座
[01:45.466]All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent
[01:49.516]所有处女座都友善又聪明
[01:49.516]Except for you
[01:50.366]除了你
[01:50.366]Expect a big surprise today
[01:52.686]今天准备迎接大惊喜吧
[01:52.686]When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
[01:55.675]当你脑袋被插在木棍上
[01:55.675]That's your horoscope for today
[01:57.525]这就是你今天的星座运势
[01:57.525]That's your horoscope for today
[01:58.915]这就是你今天的星座运势
[01:58.915]Yay yay yay yay yay
[02:00.744]
[02:00.744]That's your horoscope for today
[02:05.984]这就是你今天的星座运势
[02:05.984]That's your horoscope for today
[02:07.574]这就是你今天的星座运势
[02:07.574]That's your horoscope for today
[02:09.064]这就是你今天的星座运势
[02:09.064]Yay yay yay yay yay
[02:11.104]
[02:11.104]That's your horoscope for today
[02:15.984]这就是你今天的星座运势
[02:15.984]Now you may find it inconceivable
[02:17.343]现在你或许觉得难以置信
[02:17.343]Or at the very least a bit unlikely
[02:19.102]至少也觉得不太可能
[02:19.102]That the relative position of the planets
[02:21.162]行星与恒星的相对位置
[02:21.162]And the stars could have a special deep significance
[02:23.061]竟会对你产生特殊而深远的影响
[02:23.061]Or meaning that exclusively applies to only you
[02:25.461]或是只针对你的独特意义
[02:25.461]But let me give you my assurance
[02:26.981]但请允许我向你保证
[02:26.981]That these forecasts and predictions
[02:28.331]这些预言和预测
[02:28.331]Are all based on solid scientific documented evidence
[02:31.049]全都基于确凿的科学实证依据
[02:31.049]So you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize
[02:33.429]除非你是个十足的傻瓜才会不明白
[02:33.429]That every single one of them is absolutely true
[02:35.598]它们每一个都绝对真实可信
[02:35.598]Where was I
[02:36.317]我刚说到哪儿了
[02:36.317]LIBRA
[02:36.717]天秤座
[02:36.717]A big promotion is just around the corner
[02:39.347]升职加薪近在眼前
[02:39.347]For someone much more talented that you
[02:41.846]不过那是给比你更有才华的人准备的
[02:41.846]Laughter is the very best medicine
[02:43.956]笑声是最好的良药
[02:43.956]Remember that when your appendix bursts next week
[02:46.575]下周你阑尾炎发作时请记住这点
[02:46.575]SCORPIO
[02:47.014]天蝎座
[02:47.014]Get ready for an unexpected trip
[02:49.313]准备好迎接意外之旅
[02:49.313]When you fall screaming from an open window
[02:51.702]当你尖叫着从敞开的窗户坠落时
[02:51.702]Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem
[02:55.701]多努力改善你那可怜的自尊心吧
[02:55.701]You stupid freak
[02:56.811]你这个蠢货
[02:56.811]SAGITTARIUS
[02:57.631]射手座
[02:57.631]All your friends are laughing behind your back
[03:01.310]朋友们都在背后嘲笑你
[03:01.310]Kill them
[03:02.170]解决他们
[03:02.170]Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine
[03:05.449]把厄内斯特·博格宁的裸照全撤下来
[03:05.449]You've got hanging in your den
[03:07.059]那些你挂在书房里的
[03:07.059]CAPRICORN
[03:07.909]摩羯座
[03:07.909]The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person
[03:11.438]星象说你是个精彩绝伦的人
[03:11.438]But you know they're lying
[03:12.858]但你知道他们在撒谎
[03:12.858]If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows
[03:14.627]换作是我 会锁紧门窗
[03:14.627]And never never never never never leave my house again
[03:18.094]永远永远永远永远别再踏出家门半步
[03:18.094]That's your horoscope for today
[03:20.034]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:20.034]That's your horoscope for today
[03:21.194]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:21.194]Yay yay yay yay yay
[03:23.214]
[03:23.214]That's your horoscope for today
[03:28.334]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:28.334]That's your horoscope for today
[03:30.084]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:30.084]That's your horoscope for today
[03:31.654]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:31.654]Yay yay yay yay yay
[03:33.453]
[03:33.453]That's your horoscope for today
[03:38.693]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:38.693]That's your horoscope for today
[03:40.443]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:40.443]That's your horoscope for today
[03:41.723]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:41.723]Yay yay yay yay yay
[03:43.763]
[03:43.763]That's your horoscope for today
[03:49.013]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:49.013]That's your horoscope for today
[03:52.192]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:52.192]Yay yay yay yay yay
[03:54.102]
[03:54.102]That's your horoscope for today
[03:57.312]这就是你今天的星座运势
[03:57.312]