---review------..."Now to Sum Things" released in 2006 is the second album from the Phloide.com project, featuring a generally similar (but perhaps a bit edgier) sound compared to its predecessor 2002 Album"Deception" made by"Phloide.com and the Garden Gnome Liberation Front". On Phloide's"Now to Sum Things", some songs such as"Danny's Magic Cellphone","Ride of a lifetime"" and"Yertle and Bartholomew" definitely lean towards the edgy hard driving industrial rock end of the musical spectrum. Others such as"Zillion Faces","Pint of Dark Matter", and"Sum of All Things" feature more of a melancholy gothic sound. Other Tracks such as"Schrödinger’s Kitty","Ahab's Bee of Death","The Great Opaque Divide" and instrumentals"Dancing upon the Ephemeron" and"Cheese" feature a diverse mix of edgy alternative rock beats, distorted guitar and bass sounds, and dark or sometimes whimsical sounding synthesizer melody lines."Birdies Bouncing Off Windows" is quite humorous and deeply melancholy and though provoking all at the same time. All songs feature a very distinctive sounding electronically processed vocal delivery which blends in well with the mood of the songs, and adds to the album's edgy and unique alternative/industrial musical appeal... The written content of the songs is perhaps the most amazing aspect of Phloide's"Now for Sum Thing" album and is persistently humorous and deeply thought provoking throughout. If you are a fan of British Humor, Dr. Seuss, or nursery rhymes (or all of the above) you are really in for a treat as the writing of the songs is riddled with humorous references to the likes of Monty Python, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Spinal Tap, Yertle the turtle, Fox in Socks, Horton the Who, Peter Rabbit, the Cheshire Cat, Charlotte’s web, Mother Goose, Goldilocks, and even H.R. Pufnstuf. I can also detect some subtle tips of the hat to great classical rock musicians such as Pink Floyd, the Eagles, Jimmi Hendrix and Rush. The lyric sheet is quite extensive and thorough with the lyrical imagery delivered in mostly a poetic or metaphorical style. The written content of the deeply thought out song lyrics are guaranteed to tickle your brain and challenge your thoughts in the subjects of the validity of the theory of evolution and some aspects of quantum physics, mankind's treatment of his fellow man, and the significance of One's life and search for meaning in God's Creation and Universe. At least these are some of my interpretations so far of the album's lyrical content and deep meanings, and you are likely to come away with your own unique interpretations of the meanings of the songs as you embark upon the adventure of exploring this great album. In conclusion, Phloide.com and the Micronauts"And now to Sum Things Completely Different" is a brilliantly written collection of skillfully crafted fresh and innovative underground rock sounds that is sure to appeal to fans of Industrial, Gothic, and Alternative Rock alike. RivotRich.7http://www.myspace.com/rivot_rich7 ------------------------------------------JJ1) Zillion FacesI hears a zillion voices crying out for meaningand I swears they sounds a lot like meI sees a zillion faces that yearn for the notion of being and I swears they looks a lot like me2) I Went on a RideI went on a ride In the great space coasterWith Tinky Winky And his brave little toaster.He said No it don’t cook the custard evenBut while others go to 10 This one goes to 11We went to the restaurantAt the end of the universeand he read to me from the reading rainbow connectionVerse by verse by verseWhat’s your NameWhat’s your questWhat’s your favorite colorcome and take a look into my magic mirrorYou can stay if you brought your towelBut please don’t call me BarneyStrange is our Situation here upon the earthStranger still the longing of our soulBetter to light a candle than to curse the darknessYet we all want someone to say well done.I went to a BBQ and what did I seeHR Pufnstuff coming after meHe said we have an interview with the new zoo reviewWith Dr. Horton the Who, Winnie the Pooh, and The BuggaloosThere is no reason to get excited, HR kindly spokeThere are many among us Who think life is but a syndicated showWhat’s your NameWhat’s your questWhat’s your favorite colorcome and take a look into my magic mirrorYou can stay if you brought your towelBut please don’t call me BarneyStrange is our Situation here upon the earthStranger still the longing of our soulBetter to light a candle than to curse the darknessYet we all want someone to say well done.So I said to the Captain Please bring me my ChocolateDan said we haven’t had that Box here Since Frank Farion forgot my numberWhen I close my eyes at the end of the sessionWill the answer be forty-two guess it pends on the question.3) Danny’s Magick CellphoneWouldn’t it be neat if the moon was made of green cheeseAnd the earth was a bagelThen God could have breakfast on the way to workAnd heat His coffee on the sunOh Danny boy the pipes are callingFrom glen to mountain sideits been a thousand two hundred and ninety daysand your dinosaurs have all diedLife was so much simplerbefore we killed the man on the moonthe pleasures of life much sweeterbefore the plate divorced the spoonPut down your cell phonePut on your shadesRoll down your windowTake a look around before the ambiance fadesone thousand three hundred and thirty five dayssince we drank to our surmiseI still can’t read the Writing on the wallmust be the clouds in my eyesWe have slaughtered all the unicornsand caged up all the dragonsis there anyone remaining who'll have a drinkwith me and Bilbo BagginsPut on your big hat put down your PDAtime is sipping cider from an hour glassas Lucy’s selling wisdom for the price of lemonadeAs Danny’s dinosaur takes a bowbefore he slips into his enclavenow just a star in the face of the skyno time to see him wavewhen swimming in the tapestryof a rich man’s kingdomnever forget the simple smileof a clown who loves to danceput on your trench coatPut away your aftershavedon’t forget your goulashescome and join the masquerade as we serenade home jump back patty whackgive a Danny his boneand when this mortal flesh shall failI will leave a light on4) Birdies Bouncing Off WindowsI see birdies bouncing off windowsSimply because they don’t believe they are thereThere are no second chancesTheir bodies are broken by the choices they have madeAnd goliath comes, and he swallows them down and he smilesCuz you know he thinks it’s a game,doggy snacks from heavenAnd fate laughsas she lays down her final handAnd we turn our heads as we wonderif the gamble was worth the price we paid5) Cheese -with apologies to Dave MatthewsThere are hundreds of thousands of things you can eat that are not cheese6) Yertle & BatholomewYertle and Bartholomewsitting with in the vestibulesearching for exotic toolsto computate the Golden ruleIf Bartholomew had 500 hatsHe would want 500 morehis cracked emphatic intellectcannot keep objective scoreHe would not clock it in a boxhe could not with a fox in socksit’s safe behind his mental blockslocked his rocks from Goldiloxfixation stirredwith whey and curdsis symbiosiswith social thrombosishis pretensebuilds his defenserational internal splicingspoils our fare with over-spicingdon’t let our need for reasonblemish the dancedon’t let our want for bits & portiontaint the romanceYertle says that what I dothe limbic system tells me toI’ve drank the wishy-washy brewand never tasted anything newOver the hill and through the woodsthe wolf is surely waitingdilapidated vigor the caveatyertle van turtle still wants to be kingSynchronic allurecannot conferhis pending diagnosisof his apotheosis, he gathers referencewithout preferenceincoherent cognant pricingtaste it once again this time with icingdon’t let our need for reasonblemish the dancedon’t let our want for bits and portiontaint the romancebitter tasting w**d and brineoft mistaken for bread and winefrom the start to finish linewe are more than our design7) Schrödinger’s Kitty (Strings)This is my corrugated dittyabout a pitiable little kittyDissipating in a chromodynamic shroudwhen along came a spiderupon the supercolliderto derail his fractal cloudshe said my name is charlotteas she weaves her scarletI have come to entwine your reactorhe said kitties like me need no namewe have no claim to famebut my imaginary friends like to call me factorweb-weaver web weaver weave me a webwhere love and suffering and visions wedWhere wind and soil share the wine and the breadwhere father time has his fortune readI have sipped from the chaliceThreaded yarn through the palaceacquire designed, of life defined,watching time cast silhouettes I have treaded down the random walktwist the hands of the clockbake a mistake, my cake to partake,I still have my XFL season ticketsShe listens to the tunethat gently fumesfrom the strings of factor’s fiddlewith a song no one wrotehe misses not one notenot one yod or one tittleshe told of her bought with the water spoutand the clout that washed her spirit outhow all the kings men and all the kings horsescould not dry her doubtbut the sun did returnbetween the drenched and the burnshe found a route through the drought,her serenity to yearn my children dropped their guitars,& return to marsto discover their worth in vittlesNow they talk about mom’s piggy,and their old friend Ziggywatching battlefield earth and eating skittlesthey step into the roomweave the strings upon the loommaking garments to embellish their attireas the strings become the noosethat asphyxiate the truthsThey have basted upon the fireTachyons dancein this hyper luminal romancewith a hey diddle diddle, we fade from the middle of the spindleThe strings vigorously unwindas he smiles at his Cheshire designthe line between the bronze and the brittle the kitty in his cradlespins his fractured dreideltrying to win another silver spoonjust a loan from the unknownwhat’s intricately been sewnbetween splendid, extraordinary and Picayuneyet the resolutions we swalloware like the intuitions we borrowno one can taste our curds and wheythrough all said and donewe dance upon the ephemeronand feast from a tailored buffetweb weaver web weaver spin me my fatethe late cant implicate, nor detractors debateestate calls to estate, and time wont wait at the gatethere are plates I’d rather not ornate8) Pint of Dark matterCrack the quasar over the skilletscramble it up with some eggs and wineTake a pint or two of dark matterseason it with rosemary sage and Thymethe handmaids have offered us a piece of breadare we nothing further than transmographied stardustsimple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crustare we strange and are we charmedhave we abandoned the haven of old McDonalds farmnothing more than supplementary quirks in space timeprogressive impediments of intention and rhymethe handmaids have offered us a cup of wineare we nothing further than transmographied stardustsimple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crust9) Ahab’s Bee of Death yesterday I got stung to deathby an itty bitty beeand it hurt oh so badmade me sad,why oh why,made me cryI don’t wanna wanna diehurt so badmade me sadno, not gladmade me madthen it stung me to death againbut it didn’t hurtquite as bad, but it stillmade me crywhy o whyall the painin my brainfalls like rainleaves a stainfrom the strainhurt so badstill kinda sadstill not gladmade me madAhab calls us to join himto slay the mighty beastbut in our lust for revengewe soon become the feastThen it stung me to death againfor a third timefeeling kinda numb, feeling fine and appeasedthe touch of the beesits my thingthe caress of the stingbees my frienddon’t wanna enddon’t hurt so bad,kinda gladI like being sadI enjoy being madThen with oneone more stingI couldn’t livewithout the zesty stingoh the joythe sting bringsnumb the painwhat shall I ever gainfrom the stainin my brainit don’t hurt at alllike shopping at the mallthe writings on the wallI’ve become so smallWhat do we gainwhen Cain offers grainupon the alter ofdistain and despair,our rage cannot repair the shoes we wearAhab calls us to join himto slay the mighty beastbut in our lust for revengewe soon become the feast10) Dancing upon the Ephemeron11) The Great Opaque divideBetty Jo Jingle and Bobby Janglecome from the world at a different angleand found themselves in forbidden romancein a land where Razzleflabbenz never dare to danceBetty’s hair was fuchsiaBobby’s hair was chartreuseBetty’s tail was acuteBobby’s tail was obtuseFor the field of Loshon Horaan orthogonal wall grew between the shadesmyths and legends brewed the stewlost in analysis, brotherhood ungluedBetty Jo cried “If we left all the primary colors purenever have all the beautiful shades of furlet the Shades of fur start to blurI must confer, to be assure”Bobby replied “Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,And sprinkle the table with buttons and branAnd this same hair that smiles todaytomorrow I’ll be dyeing. “for Bobby and Betty Jo’s love impliedthe disengagement of the opaque dividemaybe somewhere they forgot to give ponderancewhy it had to be this wayThere is unrest in the meadowThere is trouble the in gladewe could become equalwith trimmer, sheers, and blade Would noone truly hateif we all epilateor would this end in futilityuntil we learn to accept the potpourriwe don’t need pathogenic ocular dissonancewe don’t need to abandon our inheritancewe just need to learn to danceand stop romancing irrelevanceThey, hand in hand,with wandering steps and slow,Search for the where the sidewalk endsand where the Giving Tree growsAnd while all is said and donelet us unspin walls undoneand let the path be runrun with unity love and absolution12) Sum of All Things It was mid Octember when we got the newsit was late Febrilary when it came to passnow the first of Janutoberand still many questions unaskedOld Saint Nick sips his last cokesilly Samhain tells his final jokeand peter rabbit has gone his way to greener fieldsSome come to unrememberSome come to unregrethere at the House mother goose has builtDanny’s dinosaur finally has come homefolly once scornedover popcornas we charade across the stagenow we take a bowas we are known as we are nowhere at the sum of all thingsSDGDe Colores, Table Of Paul, SWVA #15